"Lower the koozie a little bit. No, a little bit more. Okay, now spray some mist on the outside of the can to make it look like it's sweating. Now rub your finger from the D in Dr. to the R in Pepper. This is romance! For me!" That's me explaining to Cougs how I want her to seduce me with a visual metaphor of Juan Soto. Or as I like to call him, Sexy Dr. Pepper. Last night he hit two more homers (2-for-3, 4 RBIs) and now has five homers on the year, hitting .344 since his call-up and he's only 19 years old. *puts handkerchief to head, faints* He was the first 19-year-old to homer at a Yankee Stadium since Ken Griffey Jr. in 1989. He is the fifth youngest major leaguer with a two-homer game (Mel Ott, Danny Murphy (not that one), Griffey, Andruw Jones). He is the third youngest major leaguer to show up at Yankee Stadium and say, "A concession guy offered his wife to me for sex." (Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich) Not to put the hype too much to eleven, but he is blowing away what Bryce and Trout did when they were both 19 years old. 19-year-olds who hit a home run in the last 40 years: Soto, Bryce, Trout, Justin Upton, Andruw, Griffey and Juan Gonzalez. Betting on a 19-year-old to fail who is already up in the majors succeeding is betting the Don't Pass line, and no one likes that guy. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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