*takes a long inhale* "You smell that, Roberta? You, with the yellow-stained armpits and sweatpants, I'm calling you Roberta. That's baseball you smell. In its infinite complexity and finite simplicity. The foul lines whiter than any Lohan mirror. The grass? Manicured better than any Vietnamese lady could. The object of the game? Accumulate the most stats so I win my fantasy league. Simple, yet complex. Like trying to understand Jeff Foxworthy's appeal. From today forward, this is our Independence Day (from all that other shizz in our life)." The preceding was Bill Pullman visiting the set of Field of Dreams. To that end, Roberta and your long-flowing sideburns, if the idea is to win saves, that difficulty intensifies when you draft Ken Giles and Luke Gregerson becomes the closer. That's funny, because the Astros beat writer the other day said GILES IS THE CLOSER. Caps his, not mine. I know how to shut off my caps lock. So, now that GILES IS THE SETUP MAN, I would GRAB Gregerson in EVERY league, though, if it's competitive, he's likely GONE by NOW. No idea why Giles is NOT the CLOSER. My GUESS is the Astros went OUT and GOT Giles withOUT their manager, A.J. Hinch, agreeing, so Hinch IS now BEING petulANT. I'd prefer if he were petulANT with A closER I DO NOT OWN. Hey, it looks like I'm typing this on a busted Smith-Corona. Fun. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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