So Excited For Tyler My Nips Can Cut Glasnow
With Tyler Glasnow being called up, let's go over what we know so far about him. 1) In Triple-A, he had 113 Ks in only 96 IP. 2) He had a 1.78 ERA. 3) There's no C, since we're not even lettering...
View ArticleOrlando’s Story Begins, While Another Story Ends
Stashed Orlando Arcia in a few of my deepest leagues back in March. What a waste. Well, 59 games left -- guess that's something. If he Lindors. No idea why he hadn't been called up until now....
View ArticleDraftKings: Swiss Archer
Like Swiss cheese, Chris Archer's 2016 pitching performance has holes in it. A few things concern me with Archer's numbers this season. The main concerning being the 91.2 mph average exit velocity...
View ArticleStrasburg Takes Annual Vacation To His Summer DL House
At Stephen Strasburg's summer DL rental, the driveway is an inverted W and he timeshares with Ryan Zimmerman. The Nationals said Strasburg's elbow issue is not structural. Yeah, it's deconstructed...
View ArticleGary, Indistandsa
I'm being honest here when I say I don't think you can stop Gary Sanchez. Someone needs some breaking pitches and chloroform. It's a sequel, The Sanchize II: Homers > Butt Fumbles. Trivia:...
View ArticleMargot Renfroe In The Wolf Of Gaslamp District
I don't understand this. The Padres' Triple-A affiliate made a run for the Triple-A championship against the Yankees' affiliate, so the Padres were holding down their top prospects to play in the...
View ArticleCubs Javier Selves A Merry Little Christmas Yesterday
Yesterday, was the first time the Cubs have won 100 games since 1935. Though, in 1994, the Cubs were so gonna win the final 49 games if the strike didn't happen, giving them 98 wins, then two losses...
View ArticleTop 20 Shortstops for 2017 Fantasy Baseball
The shortstops are stacked, yo. They are stacked like Dolly Parton on top of a stack of hotcakes. There is gorge as far as the eye can see. If a young boy happened upon this post, he would see love...
View ArticleTout Wars Recap: It’s Hard To Find Sexy In 12-Team NL-Only, But I Am A Sexy...
True story: I was walking through the mall in spandex shorts and a headband, strutting really. The year was 1981. I was perhaps the most handsome, well-groomed five-year-old the planet had seen....
View ArticleSell Texas Cole Since It’s Not A Minor Slump
We've reached the end of the line for Cole Hamels' viability. It happens to everyone. Robert De Niro went from Meet the Fockers, a respectable comedic turn as Rex Reed likely said, to total garbage....
View ArticleOPS Leaguers Unite! Thanks for the Tickets!
So I'm going to the Angels game this weekend, and in a couple weeks to a Dodgers game against my Cubbies. Both stadiums I've never been to before so I'm looking forward to it. Especially the Angels...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 4: Dirt Bikes Used To Make Everything Better
Lots of little piddly injuries this week that don’t seem to be of much consequence. Self-proclaimed MVP candidate Yoenis Cespedes missed a few games with hamstring soreness, but seems ready to return....
View ArticleMy Love For Rooks Will Still Be Strong After The Brads Of Zimmer Have Gone
We have our first big call-up of the major league season!!! "Yoo-hoo!" You want chocolate milk, Cody Bellinger? "I was drawing attention to myself, since I was called up first." Oh, yeah, but you...
View ArticleCasty Freddie Blastied In Wrist
Jose Bautista is such a douche canoe. He bat-flipped after a home run that cut the Braves lead to 8-4. That's like "Pimp my Ride" with a Hyundai. That's like moonwalking at a bar mitzvah with toilet...
View ArticlePoints Leagues: Expansion Team Experiment
As I was rummaging through player statistics looking for some bit of data that would help both me and my eight loyal readers, for some reason I began to wonder if it would be possible to add a team to...
View ArticleThe Darker The Berrios, The Sweeter The Jugos
Yesterday, Jose Berrios went 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, bringing his two-game ERA to 0.59. Hi ho the Berrios, snitches! Here's what I said previously on Jose Berrios (because this is...
View ArticleBauer K’s A’s Straight Through 2PM
The title is referring to 24. I never saw 24. Well, I've seen the number. I never saw the show. No interest really. Not my sorta thing. I do have a Kiefer Sutherland story though. I think I...
View ArticleVolquez No Hits DBacks, Roto Points>Scrabble Points!
Sometimes, baseball can be that game we all fell in love with *covers mouth so you can't hear number* years ago. Whether it's Paul O'Neil hitting a triple with an error to score a home run for a child...
View ArticleSAGNOF Report: Segura Yesterday, Elvis Today
While he hasn't ever been the end all, be all fantasy shortstop, Elvis Andrus is putting it together this year. He has gone from a Ron Popiel special at SS to a must own, and by own I mean a trade for...
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Points Leagues: Where There’s Smoak, There’s Fire
Okay, full disclosure. This post was planned for last week, but after Masahiro Tanaka and Jose Quintana's sh!t shows of a performance I decided I'd rather chug beers and yell racial slurs at online...
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