Baltimore Had The Bundy But Kluber Brought The King Kong
Since Corey Kluber returned from the DL, he's been lights out. Then lights on. Then off. On. Off! Nothing but glow sticks. The sweet smell of body odor, ganja and herbal ecstasy rises. An Asian...
View ArticleOne If By Land, Three If By Seager
Our Commissioner Manfred presses his intercom, "Please escort in the Guatemalan baseball stitchers." Manfred's secretary brings six men dressed in blanket ponchos and straw hats. Their leader steps...
View ArticleFanDuel: Canada Day Sale
If you’ve hung with me on previous Saturdays, you’ll know that in real life (where I’m Victoria in a hat rather than Victoria on a hat), I live in Canada. And so on this first day of July, I’d like to...
View ArticleOPS Leaguers Unite! OPS 1st Half Stars (Part 2)!
Hope all of you out in Razzballland (who doesn’t like the ol’ triple L) enjoyed the All-Star Break. We all now know making the All-Star game an exhibition game again was a great idea. It’s just too...
View ArticleJ.D. Power Now Associates With The D-Backs
Yesterday, J.D. Martinez was traded to the Diamondbacks for Dawel Lugo, Sergio Alcantara and Jose King, a package that has been described by me as a .280, 40-homer hitter for Okay, Who Cares and So...
View ArticleArenado Airs A Trio
I have Michael Jackson's autograph from his three distinct artistic periods -- Jackson 5, breakout solo artist, fondler -- and while they are priceless, I'm going to put them by this open...
View ArticleFanDuel: Red Sox Bring the Ruckus
Francisco Liriano best protect his neck on Thursday as he takes on the Red Sox at Fenway Park. The Red Sox are an enticing stack as they face Liriano, who lasted just two innings his last time out with...
View ArticleFantasyDraft: Dinel is Served, Son
*Plays triangle* come and get it, boys, it's time for a Hodgepadre treat! In San Francisco! Which kinda makes it a San Francisco Treat! I'm sorry for shouting, I've had too much coffee! *Takes some...
View ArticleRoyals Go On Vacation To South Padre Mehland
On the podcast coming later today, I felt a reverb. Luckily, I do everything while standing in a doorway because who has time to run to a doorway in the event of a earthquake? This reverb wasn't God...
View ArticleShould I Be Supremely Courting Harrison Bader Ginsburg?
Between trade deadline deals and prospect call-ups, I am so super jacked right now, I could jackhammer a road with my excitement! Is it weird that I'm picturing a mural of Giancarlo on the ground...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 18: Hurts Like A Mitch
The injury bug bit HARD this week. Every player on this list is a player whose absence will have huge fantasy implications. The playoffs are right around the corner and the smartest owners will be able...
View ArticleRazz30 Update: Gotta Feed The Crabs
Crabs gon' eat, whether you like it or not. The best advice I can give is move out of the way when they come through your town. If they request buckets of your finest chum, drop it on your porch and...
View ArticleAlonso Shipped Off To The Way Northwest Yonder
Let's just go on what logic tells us. Not Logic, the rapper, but logic the thing you've been chipping away at with your weed smoking. In 2015, Billy Beane traded Drew Pomeranz to the Padres for...
View ArticleAvoid Age Inappropriate Affairs In Cincy And Stick With Votto Erotica
Yesterday, Joey Votto went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 30th homer as he hits .314 with a .438 OBP. Not only is Votto hitting for a high average, but he's also hitting for power, and, you kinda...
View ArticleMets Hope The Bruce/Smith Swap At Least Helps On The Defensive End
The Mets continue to move towards the future, promoting their top first base prospect, Dominic Smith. They are cautiously optimistic. Adverbly restrained because the last time they were unbridled in...
View ArticleOzzie Man Does
Atlanta Braves top prospect/hot shot rookie/middle infielder/the "New" Georgia Peach Ozzie Albies hit his second career major league home run in just his ninth career major league start going 2-for-4...
View ArticleGray Pilots The Plane While Rockies Take Braves Pitchers To Bathroom
On the ones and twos, it's not DJ Khaled, with a cigar in his baby's mouth, dropping another one in a major key. It's yo' boy, DJ LeMahieu (4-for-5, 4 runs, 1 RBI), the French-sounding EDM mixmaster,...
View ArticleGood Luck Storming The Castillo In 2018 Drafts
Watching Luis Castillo is officially an ASMR trigger. *insert onomatopoeia of satisfied exhale, picks up invisible fork and knife, mimes cutting up satisfied exhale, eats exhale* Do you see how...
View ArticleAbreu Taking Irma Frustrations Out On San Fran
There's a common term sociologists use called, The Tide of Uze. Everything that encompasses everyday life is on The Tide of Uze. Brushing your teeth, walking your dog, Jose Abreu, they're all on The...
View ArticleFanDuel: Hard Work and Elbow Rhys
DFS could be systematic, hydromatic, ultramatic... why it could be Rhys Lightnin' today! I'd probably draft Rhys Hoskins above a whole bunch of guys next season. Throw Jose Abreu, Miguel Cabrera, Eric...
View Article